现代药物与临床

尊严 

来源:现代药物与临床 【在线投稿】 栏目:期刊导读 时间:2021-05-11
Leavitt(196√‘aduate ofYale.His earl)'years,hort,e’,et;H,ere spc,,T,学业r耶普大学.,√:过,他的蜜年是在j坦福大 aroundStanfordUniversity,where瞧掘≯瓣磐,.镌嘲蹶黼渊镢《$馘过,他父亲曾在那里任教。他囊鲤黪雾≤霉蜮 faculty.He workedinNewYork as he started topUblish作时就开始发表小说。1984年获得了欧·亨利文。鬻 his stories.In1984 he was awardedan0’HenryPrize.学奖。同年他的小说集《家庭之舞》面世。其中His collection ofstoriesFamilyDancing appeared the包括《我从未去过的地方》(1990)、《阿肯色: same yearAmong his books areAPlace,’veNever三部中篇小说》(1997)和《翻书者》(1998)。Been(1900).Arkansas:ThreeNovellas(1997).andThePageTurner(1998).Theo had a choice between a drug that would save西奥面临着两种药物选择,一种是可以拯救 his sight and a drug that would keep him alive,SO he视力的药物,另一种是可以维持生命的药物。于 chose not to go blind.He stopped the pills and started the是他做出选择:使自己不变成盲人。他停止服用 injections--these required the implantation of an药片,开始注射药物。而注射药物需要将导管插 unpleasant and painful catheter just above his heart一入心脏上方。这是一个痛苦不堪的过程——1旦是 and within a few days the clouds in his eyes started to没出几天,西奥眼里的雾状物就开始消失,他又 clear up;he could see again.He remembered going into能看见了。他想起了曾经和母亲一起去纽约市看:NewYorkCity to a show with his mother,when he was展览时的情景。那时他才12岁,就是不承认需要 twelveanddidn’twantto admitheneededglasses.“Can戴眼镜。“那你能看见那上面的字吗?”母亲指着 you read that?”she’d shouted,pointing to aBroadway百老汇大街上的一个广告牌大声地问道。他眯起 marquee,and when he’d squinted,making out only one眼睛,也只能辨别出一两个字母。母亲摘掉自己 or two letters,she’d taken offher own glasses--harlequins的眼镜——镜框角上镶着莱菌石小颗粒——戴到 with tiny rhinestones in the comers--and shoved them儿子睑上。整个儿世界立刻聚焦在他的面前。西 ontohisface.Theworld cameintofocus,andhegasped,奥倒吸了一口气,对周围的一切惊叹不已。一些 astonished at the precision around the edges of things,是清晰可辨的东西,一些是棱角分明、色彩斑斓 the legibility,the hard,sharp,colorful landscape.Sylvia的景物。那天,他的母亲,塞尔维娅不得不眯起 had to squint throughFiddler on theRoof that day,but眼睛观看了《屋顶上的小提琴手))。对于西奥来 forTheo,his face masked by his mother’S huge glasses,说,他的脸完全被母亲那副大大的眼镜扣住了, everythingWas as bright and vivid as a comic book.Even一切却是那么的鲜明生动,就像连环画一样。即 though people stared at him,and muttered things,Sylvia使人们紧紧地盯着西奥窃窃私语,塞尔维娅也毫 didn’t care;he could see.不介意,因为儿子能够看得清楚呀。Because he was dying again,Theo moved back to由于死神又一次逼近,西奥搬回了母亲在新 his mother’S house inNewJersey.TheDHPG injections泽西的住所。塞尔维娅毅然决定注射无环鸟苷 she took in stride--she’d seen her own mother through(更昔洛唯),毕竟她亲眼目睹了母亲去世的全过 her dying,after a11.Four times a day,with the equanimity程。一天4次,她像护士一样沉着自如地清理插 of a nurse,she cleaned out the plastic tube implanted in在西奥胸前的塑料导管,扎上消过毒的皮下注射 his chest,inserted a sterilized hypodermic and slowly器。缓缓地,透明的药液滴入他的静脉中。他们 dripped the bag of sight.giving liquid into his veins.They默默地忍受着整个过程,赛尔维娅坐在病床边,endured this procedure silently,Sylvia siaing on the side ofthehospitalbed she’d rentedforthedurationofTheo’S stay--his life,he sometimes thought--watching reruns ofILoveLucy or the news.while he tried not to think about the hard piece of pipe stuck into him,even though it was a constant reminder of how wide and unswimmable the gulf was becoming between him and the ever-receding shoreline of the well.AndSylvia was intricately cheerful.Each day she urged him to go out with her somewhere-- to the library,or the little museum with the dinosaur replicas he’d been fond of as a child--and when his thinness and the cane drew stares,she’d maneuver him around the people who were staring,determined to shield him from whatever they might say or do.It had been the same that afternoonSO many years ago,when she’d pushed him through a lobbyful of curious and laughing faces,determined that nothing should interfere with the spectacle of his seeing.What a pair they must have made, a boy in ugly glasses and a mother daring the world to say aword aboutit!This warm,breezy afternoon inMay they were shopping for revenge.“Your cousinHoward’S engagement party is next month,’’Sylvia explained in theCar.“A very nice girl fromLivingston.I met her a few weeks ago,and really,she’S a superior person.’’“I’m glad.”Theo said.‘‘CongratulateHowie for me.”“Do you think you’11 be up to going to the party?”“I’m not sure.Would it be okay for mejust to give him agift?”“You already have.A lovely silver tray,ifI saySO myself.The thank—you note’S in the living room.’’“Mom,”Theo said,“why do you always have to?”Sylvia honked her hom at a truck making an illegal left turn.“Better they should get something than no present at all,is whatI say,”she said.“But now,the problem is,I have to giveHowie something,to be from me,and it better be good.It better be very,very good.’’“Why?”“Don’t帑融g∥蕊罩这是她为西奥住院租来的——有时,西奥一边思索着自己的生命一一边看着《我爱露茜》的重播或新闻。他尽量不去想插在他胸前的硬邦邦的导管。即使那硬邦邦的导管一直在提醒着这样一个事实:在他和逐渐下降的吊瓶药液之间,有一条鸿沟,而这条鸿沟是那么的宽阔而难以逾越。塞尔维娅兴奋中掺扎着复杂的心情。每天她都敦促着儿子和自己到某处走走——去图书馆,或者去他小时候就喜欢的展有恐龙复制品的小型博物馆。当儿子瘦小的身材和手中的拐杖引来异样的目光时,她便千方百计地挡住周围那些盯着儿子的目光,她保护着儿子,不想让人们的言行伤害到儿子。在许多年前的一个下午,出现了同样一幕。当时,她推着儿子走过大厅,到处是好奇的眼光和嘲笑的面孔。她不想让任何事情影响儿子观看景色。他们是怎样的一对母子呀,一位是带着丑陋眼镜的小男孩,一位是绝不允许别人指指点点的母亲。在今年5月的一个下午,阳光温暖,春风拂面,他们正为报复毕比而购物。“你堂兄霍华德酌订婚派对定在下个月,”塞尔维娅坐在车里说道。“一个来自利文斯敦的不错的女孩,几周前我看见过她,真的,一个很优秀的女孩子。”“我很高兴,”西奥说道。“代我向豪伊表示祝贺。”“你要参加那个派对吗?”“不一定,我只想送他一个礼物,行不行?”“要我说的话,你已经送了一个礼物。一个漂亮的银色托盘,感谢信还在客厅里呢。”“妈妈,”西奥说道。“你为什么总要这样?”. iJn一辆卡车违章左转,塞尔维娅按了一下喇叭。“我要说的是,他们收到点礼物总比一点礼物也没收到要好,”她说。“但现在,问题是,我要送点什么给豪伊,由我赠送的,最好是高档一点的,最好是相当相当高档的。“为什么?”“难道你不记得毕比送给你的那个又小又不值gave you for your graduation?It was disgusting.”‘‘I can’t remember what she gave me.’’“Of course you can’t.It was a tacky pen—and—pencil set.Not even a real leather box.So naturally,it stands to reason thatI have to get something truly spectacular forHoward’S engagement.Something that will makeBibi blanch.Anyway,I thinkI’ve found just the thing, butI need your advice.’’“Advice?Well,when my old roommateNick got married,I gave him a garlic press.It cost five dollars and reflected exactly how muchI felt,at that moment, our friendship was worth.’’Sylvia laughed.“Clever.But my idea is much more brilliant,because it makes it possible for me to get back atBibi and giveHoward the nice gift he and this girl deserve.”She smiled,clearly pleased with herself.“Ah,you live and learn.’’“You live,”Theo said.Sylvia blinked.“Well.100k。here we are.”She pulled the car into a handicapped—parking place onMorrisAvenue and got out to helpTheo,but he was already h嚼ting himself up out of his seat,using the door handle for leverage.“ICan manage myself,’’he said with some irritation.Sylvia stepped back.“Clearly one advantage to all this for you,’’Theo said,balancing on his cane,“is that it’S suddenlySO much easier to get a parking place.’’“OhTheo,please,”Sylvia said.“Look,here’S where we’re going.’’She leaned him into a gift shop filled with porcelain statuettes ofSnowWhite and all seven of the dwarves, music boxes which,when you opened them,played“TheShadow ofYourSmile,”complicated-smelling potpourris in purple wallpapered boxes,and stuffed snakes you were supposed to push up against drafty windows and doors.“Mrs.Greenman,”said an expansive,gray-haired man in a cream.colored cardigan sweater.“Look who’s here.Archie.it’SMrs.Greenman.”Another man,this one thinner and balding,but dressed in an identical cardigan peered out from the back of the shop.“Hello there!”he said,smiling.He looked钱的毕业礼物吗?真是令人作呕啊!”“我不记得她给过我什么了。”“你当然不记得了,那是一个非常俗气又难看的笔袋,而且连个真皮的都不是。所以,理所当然,我应该给霍华德买一个货真价实的订婚礼物,一个使毕比感到羞愧的东西,不管怎么说,我觉得我已经找到了那件东西,不过想听听你的建议。”“建议?对了,当我的老室友尼克结婚时,我送给了他一个小捣蒜器,花了5美元,它恰到好处地反映了当时我们友谊的分量。”塞尔维娅大笑起来。“聪明啊。但我的想法更胜一筹,它可以使我报复毕比一把,而且让霍华德和他的女友得到一个他们应得的漂亮礼物。”她微笑着,自鸣得意地说:“嗯,活到老学到老呀。”“那你就一直活下去吧,”西奥说道。塞尔维娅眨了一下眼睛说:“好了,看,就在这儿。”她把车停在莫理斯大街的残疾人专用车位,接着去帮助西奥下车。但是西奥已经撑着车扶手,起身离开了座位。“我自己能行,”西奥不满地说道。塞尔维娅后退了一步。“显然,对你来说,这里的优势,”西奥说,用拐杖平衡了一下身体,“就是让你不费力气一下子找到停车位置。”“哦,西奥,别这样,”塞尔维娅说。“看,这就是我们要来的地方。”她把他带到了一个礼品店,里面摆满了白雪公主和七个小矮人的小陶瓷塑像、音乐盒,当你打开音乐盒时就会响起“你微笑的影子”的乐曲,还摆满了多种香味的百花香,这些百花香都装在紫色的壁纸盒子里。这里还有摆放在通风窗口和门口的填充起来的蛇皮。“格林曼太太,”一位开朗的,灰白头发的穿着一件奶油色羊毛衫的人叫道。“你看,谁在这边,阿尔奇,是格林曼夫人啊。”另外一位身材较瘦,有点秃顶的、穿着同样羊毛衫的男士,从商店的后方探出头来。“你好,”他微笑着说道。看了一下西奥,顿时表情发生了atTheo,and his expression changed.“Mr.Sherman,Mr.Baker.This is my son,Theo.’’“Hello,”Mr.Sherman andMr.Baker said.They didn’t offer t0 shake hands.“Are you here for that item we discussed last week?”MI‘.Sherman asked.“Yes.”Sylvia said.“1 want advice from my son‘here.”She walked over to a large ridged crystal bowl, a very riffles sort of bowl,stalwart and square-jawed.“What do you think?Beantiful.isn’t it?”“Morn,to tell the tru也,I think it’S kind of ugly.”“Four hundred and twenty.five dollars.”Sylvia said admiringly.“You have to feel it.”Then she picked up the big bowl and tossed it toTheo,like a football.‘The gentlemen in the cardigan sweaters gasped and did not exhale.WhenTheo caught it,it sank his hands.His cane rattled as it hit the floor.“That’S heavy,”Sylvia said,observing with sarisfaction how the bowl had weightedTheo’S arlTlS down.“And where crystal is concerned,heavy is· o” impressive-She took the bowl back from him and carried it to the counter.Mr.Sherman was mopping his brow.Theo looked at the floor,still surprised not to see shards of glass around his feet.Since no one else seemed to be volunteering,he bent over and picked up the cane.“Four hundred and fifty—nine,with tax,”Mr.Sherman said,his voice still a bit shaky,and a100k of relish came overSylvias’face as she pulled out her checkbook to pay.Behind the counter,Theo could seeMr.Baker put his hand on his forehead and cast his eyes to the ceiling.It seemedSylvia had been looking a long time for something like this,something heavy enough to leave an impression,yetSO fragile it could make you sorry.They headed back out to the car.“Where can we go now?”Sylvia asked,as she got in.“There must be someplace else to go.”变化。:“谢尔曼先生,贝克先生。这是我儿子,西奥。”“你好,”谢尔曼先生和贝克先生说道。他们但并没有伸手和西奥握手。“你是为我们上个星期讨论过的商品而来的吧?”谢尔曼问道。“是的,”塞尔维娅说。“我想在此听听儿子的建议。”她来到了一个边缘突起的大水晶碗旁边,那是一个在50年代使用的碗,碗呈方形且敦敦实实的。“你觉得如何?很漂亮,对吧?”“妈妈,说实话,我觉得很难看。”.“425美元,”塞尔维娅以欣赏的口气说道,“你可以摸一下。”于是,她抓起大腕,对着西奥就扔了过去,就像扔足球一样。此时身穿羊毛衫的绅士们倒抽了一口气,摒住呼吸。当西奥伸手去接时,它已经落在他的双手里。此时,他的拐杖“咣当”一声倒在地上。“倒挺重的啊,”塞尔维娅说道,看着碗是如何将西奥的胳膊压弯的,心中充满了一种满足感。“就水晶而言,给人印象最深的就是它的重量了。”母亲从儿子手中接过碗,放回柜台上。谢尔曼先生正在用手拭擦着额头。西奥看了一眼地板,也惊讶不已地发现,脚下根本没有玻璃碎片。因为无人主动为他拾起拐杖,他就日己弯腰拾起来。“加上税共459美元,”谢尔曼先生说道,声音仍然有些颤抖不已。当塞尔维娅取出支票付款时,一幅满足的表情掠过脸庞。而在柜台后面,西奥发现贝克先生的手仍然没有离开前额,双眼直勾勾地盯着天花板。塞尔维娅似乎花了很长时间来寻找诸如此类的东西,一种有足够重量的,令人印象深的,易碎且碎了之后使人感到惋惜的东西。母子俩转头回到了车上。“我们现在去哪里?”上车时,塞尔维娅问道。“应该还有别的地方可去的。”

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